Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Michigan State versus UNC

Ahh, the National Championship of College Basketball. Pretty much boring unless you hung on to the hope that the Spartans could actually come back. I did and sat through the whole slaughter house of a game. Here are few thoughts and observations from tonight.....

Magic Johnson looked like he could suit up and handle bitness. Larry Bird looked dead. So basically AIDS medicine is a fountain of youth. Hey all you ladies that spend endless amounts of money on face lifts and shit, just get aids and you're sot. As for the average Joe that has one hell of a jump shot, and probably leads a rather normal life besides the money and excessive amounts of scotch drank over the years, you can pretty much look OLD AS FUCK compared to someone near your age with AIDS. Of course, it doesn't help that Larry is quite likely the ugliest dude to ever walk the face of the earth.

Here's some thought by play.....

Sometime in the 2nd half - I just wish Mich St. would get some MOmentum. I just kept hoping for them to get within 15 points early in the half.

A little bit after that (because this is when I actually thought about writing this shit) - His Mom and Dad should have named the dude Dee Lucious. How fucking cool with that have been? I'm not even sure what the dude's first name is, but there are alot of great first name options for #34 of Michigan St. This got me thinking what if I had a "Better 1st Name Contest?" This week will be test run. Through your first names out for Lucious of Michigan State and let's see what happens. All persons not related to, or actually knowing me in any way shape or form are eligible to win an unmatched used sock. I have several and will pick the best of the bunch. Winner pays a shipping and handling fee of $4.99. And if you comment now, I will also throw in another sock of the same caliber, but a different brand along with my guide on avoiding and getting rid of unmatched socks.

Prob about 15 min left in 2nd half - Damn that Heathcote guy has a really weird shaped head.



Not sure why the other part of his gourd isn't showing up, but that's my first go with MS Paint on here so deal with it. Just imagine a little symmetry.

12:05 Remaining - Mich St within 16 pts. This is getting funner to watch.

11:47 Remaining - It looked like Mich St had something going there. The Spartan mascot reminds me of NCAA 09 Football for Wii. Don't some turnovers sound good about now.

Somewhere between 11:47 and 8:15 left – Is Letterman even funny anymore? Was he ever even funny at all?

8:15 to go – Damn these 3’s need to fall!!!!

COMMERCIAL FESTIVAL!!!!!

6:49 lefted – DAMN CAN A THREE PLEASE FALL!!!!

6:11 to the end – If they could have only made half of the 3 pt. attempts in the half they would only be down like 6.

5:20 in the half – Enter white shooter guy!

4:57 – Roy = PRICK! Michigan State down by 14 and Oucha Lucios is hurt.

Sometime shortly thereafter – Mich St fan, “Hey guys let’s yell BOOOO right as Ty Lawson is shooting his free throws!” Gimme a fucking break. Like that shit is going to work on this guy. His dad was probably yelling shit like that when Ty was 5 years old practicing free throws.

BALLGAME!

I noticed quite of bit of commercial activity in this game.

1. Is the red bearded dude in the IBM commercials the same guy that’s in the use your dipstick Jimmy oil commercials?

2. OK, in the Honda commercial where all the cars are popping up there is a scene in which two people are playing checkers. One of the hands is brown and the other is white. One of them nails some crazy triple jump to reveal a Honda. Who pulled it off? Do you think there was any planning in the directing department on "who" would make the other look like a complete dumbass while they pulled off this checker's move of insurmountable proportions?

3. I should have bought a GM a few weeks back. They will pay up to $500 a month towards your car payment if you lose your job.

4. Burger King + Sponge Bob + Sir Mix-A-Lot = FAIL

5. I saw the entire Guitar Hero Metallica commercial for the first time since everyone went bat shit over it last week or whenever that was. Not bad.

6. Fuck Miller Lite. I mean, I'm not saying I wouldn't drink it if you handed me one, but FUCK MILLER LITE!!!

7. I am supposed to believe that Exxon is spending money to find out how to make vehicles 80% more efficient than they are right now based on stats compared to the 70s. YEAH, OK SURE!!!

8. OK, insurance company, now that you have showed us a car wash with no rinse, a hot dog with no bun, and a popsicle with no stick I fucking get it! I AM SWITCHING AS WE FRICKIN SPEAK!!!

9. The new Terminator movie looks kick ass.

And that wraps it up. Thank-you CBS for including some form of Obama coverage in there at the end. He filled out a bracket? Really? He picked UNC? No one in the entire universe could NOT have been exposed to that shit 60,563 times these past few weeks!!! I also wondered if that was Magic Johnson singing the, "One Shining Moment," song at the end.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

Queue, the Eurythmics or Marilyn Manson, whatever floats your boat. Basically, I rarely ever ever have any dreams that I remember. The chances of me having a good dream, and by good I mean a threesome with some 18 year old swedish twins, are about as good as the Detroit Lions winning the super bowl in the 2009 season. So, go ahead, call your bookie and place your bets for Detroit to win it all next season because last night I dreamed of me and Cindy Crawford! SCHAA-WING!!

Now first off let me say that this was vintage Cindy....



.....and not current Cindy.....



...although current Cindy isn't bad either. Just wondering where the fuck that mole went though!

Anyways the details are a little blurry, but all I know is it was me and Cindy on something in which we were laying down and she was all over me. She was wearing some form of business attire. It was along the lines of a skirt and button down blouse. We were making out something fierce. I can still remember exactly what it was like ripping her top off. Once I accomplished that I was doing an impersonation of a Ethiopian baby breast feeding after nearly starving to death due to not eating or drinking for 7 days. It was so vivid and realistic and she was so god damn sexy! She kept saying she wanted me and wanted me now. So what does stud muffin dAndy Mother Fucking ManCandy do? I remember telling her I couldn't right now because I had to be somewhere, but we could definitely resume this later. WTF? I turned down a horny vintage Cindy Crawford that wanted nothing more than some of dAndy's ManCandy because I had to be somewhere. Where was that somewhere? The fucking job I am getting fired from in a week. The next sound I hear is ahhh ahhh ahhh wake your sorry ass up ahhh ahhh ahhh coming from my alarm. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!

{Images via The Just Plain Breakfast and InGameNow}

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Farewell Freddy T!

I guess Fred Taylor really liked this place. Reports have it that Fred got choked up at a recent speech this past Monday at a Rotary Club send-off. More at Laddy McFaddy. Hopefully he'll kick ass in New England, get a ring, then come back and retire a Jag.

Lazy Links

Here's a little something something for ya.....

Mike Vick may have written an auto-biography in jail. Check out Yahoo's Shutdown Corner. I can't wait to get my hands on that. I'll put it one the shelf right next to Men With Balls.

There is always funny with fail. Check out the Fail Blog.

The Jackass List has a post on a UFC fighter who turned to the streets at a young age after his dad ate his dog in front of him. Shit ya not!

John Daly tried to sue a Jacksonville journalist. Yahoo's Devil Ball Golf has the scoop. I don't care what other golfers think about John, but I like the fucking shit out of the guy. He's more of the regular guy playing golf than any other one out there. Booze? Check. Smoker? Check. Gambler? Check.

Kieth Olberman is a blogger now. Great. Via Awful Announcing.

Ladies and gents meet the starting QB for Denver's Lingerie Football League team at Busted Coverage. Schawing!

The Holy Taco is holding a 2009 douchbag of the year tourney.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

This just in!

If I see another fucking pop up add for Fantasy Baseball @ CBS Sports got damn com I swear I'll....... Fuck it, what am I going to do turn off the interwebs? I didn't turn it off just yet because I want you to read this dumb ass blog first, but when you are done if you'll kindly let me know via the comments then I'll shut the internets down until after registration is closed for fantasy baseball.

Also, as far as the YUGE group I have kickin for tourney pick em goes, Upstate Underdog and I are tied at 50 pts a piece even though he has picked 38 of 48 correctly versus my 37 out of 48. It's batshit crazy!! Nice job UU! Ognihs is in the Top 3 and 3 points back with 35 out of 48 correct. You hang in there buddy!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Tourney Pick Em

I created a group so I could do this all by myself and acutaly win a group for once, but if you are willing to fuck that up then by all means join. Winner gets exclusive access to my blog free of charge!

dAndy's Own - Group ID - 157965, Password - dandy45

http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/group/157965